Health & Fitness
Camo Madness
I went to Big 5 today and bought a camouflage gun, so I could be like everyone else that have camo everything. My neighbor gave me a ride in his car that he had just painted camo, and not 2 blocks from home we were T-Boned because the other driver couldn’t see us. My gun was really nice, but I put it down to get a beer and now I can’t find it. I hope it wasn’t loaded.
What’s weird was I had just come from a Padres game where the players were wearing camo shirts. I got mad and wanted my money back because I couldn’t see the players upper torsos, and didn’t know one from another. Just a head, glove and pair of legs were visible. I don’t think this was fair either because the other players were having trouble seeing the Padres to tag them out.
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We had our granddaughter with us wearing a pink camo jacket with Texas on the front. We put her down for a second and had to go to lost and found to retrieve her. On the way home there was a military guy riding a motorcycle with camo everything on. It looked like a ghost was driving with faint shadows of a person sometimes visible. I’ve gotta hand it to the government guys that came up with that expensive computer generated camo design because if it weren’t for the motorcycle, I wouldn’t have been able to see the guy at all.
There were some kids coming home from school with camo backpacks, and I couldn’t tell if they were delinquent, or just had no homework.
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At Big 5 there was a guy standing next to me with camo pants on. It creeped me out that this guy looked like he had no legs. I thought about asking him to take his pants off, but thought better of it. I picked up a camo knife and cut myself because I couldn’t tell the blade from the handle, and then was wondering how they planned on selling the camo fishing poles when the shelves looked empty?
Then I got the idea that if they painted Big 5 store camoflage, no one would be able to find the place to buy a gun and we’d all be safer. I was wearing a skull cap and a patron came by and asked me if I had a brain.