A Community Where Tragedy is Discussed, But Not Until it Strikes

When you think of a small town, ideally you think of somewhere in a southern state, such as Georgia or Kentucky. But for those of us who have lived or do live in Ramona, we see a small town that is 45 minutes out of San Diego and a place that is secluded in the mountains.

We see a normal community that has one main street that stretches all through town and a few curvy roads that lead to different parts of our community. We see Ramona High School; we see the rodeo grounds; we see Ramona Oaks Park; and we see the Mt. Woodson Golf Course.

There's a small amount of places in Ramona that teenagers can go to where they can hang out with friends; these places are either in the central part of Ramona or hidden off in a field, a park or an empty dirt road. In this small town we see many things and the spread of gossip is rapid fire and the drama is never ending.

But do we as a community really look at the problems that our children face in this small community? Or are they only brought up when a tragedy strikes?

Since the age of 5, I have grown up in Ramona; and within the past 17 years, I have lived the life of a kid, trying to grow up in my own way but sadly I got caught up with the drama, the lies, and the peer pressure. I was bullied from elementary school to well into high school. I found that middle school was the worst of it for myself but for others it was only the beginning. In my years of living in Ramona I have seen teen suicides, teen bullying, DUI's, fatalities due to drunk driving, overdoses, teen pregnancy, gang violence, etc. Anything that a teenager can possibly go through, I lived it in one way or another.

I want to make these problems known in the community. I have younger family members or friends that are just starting to face all of these problems, and I feel that these situations are put on a hush-hush until something bad strikes in our neighborhoods.

Why does society feel the need to tell us how to act, dress, and live but they won't discuss the consequences of these actions? And why, in such a small community, are parents and educators not taking the initiative to discuss them before they happen? As teenagers, we think we are invincible and nothing bad could possibly happen to us–we believe this because there is nobody there to tell us that bad things can happen.

I wish that while I was in middle school and high school that there could have been someone a older then me to discuss things with, to tell me that things would get better for me and that all of these challenges I am facing now will end up changing me for the better.

Often, tweens and teenagers don't think that there is anyone out there for them to talk to. They wouldn't dare talk to their parents or guardians–they are too worried about the school authority figures judging them, and they don't want to make a fool out of themselves in front of their friends. I am lucky enough to have been raised by two wonderful parents who I always went to with my problems; and I have an older sister who would stand up for me and give me advice about how to handle being bullied. Sadly, some kids aren't lucky enough to have a family they can run to in their time of need, but this is where I believe as a community we can come together and let those searching souls know they aren't alone–there is someone they can run too.

Stay tuned for my next post when I will start to discuss my personal bullying experiences and how I overcame it instead of taking a sour turn, i.e. self-harm or suicide.

Have you yourself been a victim of bullying? Or are you a parent who knows their children are struggling with it? Do you know how to start a conversation with someone who you think may be hurting themselves because of being bullied? Are you being bullied and you don't know how to ask for help?

Please leave me comments and questions. I'd be happy to reply back and discuss your thoughts or questions in my next post.

If you are having thoughts about suicide or hurting yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255. There will be someone on the other end for you. You aren't alone. You are loved and you are meant for a beautiful life.

Until next time…

- Ashlee